morning sickness

So, I am pregnant. For the third time. That sounds kind of crazy, but then i remember all the huge families that i know and the huge families throughout time, and i guess it doesn't sound freakish :) In a lot of ways, this pregnancy is not the "big deal" that the other two, especially the first were. that sounds bad. i don't mean big deal in the exciting, miraculous sort of way, but big deal in the "whoa, i have never done this before. what's going to happen" way. my body feels like it knows what to do, and for the most part, what will happen. each pregnancy is different for sure, but when you i feel a certain kind of pain, i'm like, okay, i know what that is. it's comforting to have gone through it before (twice). i am extremely happy and excited about this new baby. i am excited for a whole new person coming to join our family, a new genetic combination, a whole new set of snuggles and smiles and all the amazing firsts that come with a new baby. of course, i am also really excited about the possibility of having a girl. i know that is probably a long shot, already having two boys, but it would be so fun to have a little girl to share that really girly side of myself. i also have to admit that having a new baby is scary. it's scary at the times when my boys are being super loud and obnoxious, when i can barely handle the two of them. i wonder if i can balance it all. if i can take someone to kindergarten and potty train another, and breast feed and sleep train another.... that's a lot! it helps that i have wonderful friends like jen and kristen, who are examples of great moms with three kids. that's comforts me. i know that God's timing is always the best, and that getting pregnant is really a miracle. i am grateful for another opportunity, and i know that God is stretching and growing me through this time, and the many years of motherhood. i just want to put those fears out there too.

we just started a MOPS group at church - a time for moms of pre-schoolers to come together once a month for fellowship and time to be women. when we were planning, one goal i had for us as a group was transparency. i feel like that is something we often aren't as moms - transparent about our fears, our shortcomings, our frustrations. this is a really hard job, and of course i am going to share my joys and proud moments, but it's also so necessary to share the other side.

for the past few days i have been feeling so nauseous! i am so fortunate to not be someone who barfs for months. i never have, but i have the most intense nausea right now - like the room is spinning, and i can't move :( ugh. this is especially hard when i have two boys running around being crazy. ugh. i think when the weather changes, that will majorly help things, but for now, i'm feeling a little stir-crazy and sick.