Tuesday, April 14, 2009

release

 i've been pondering release lately - the lack of it, the need for it, and the buildup of stress and tension and emotions that necessitate it. this is my premier post. i've been wanting to start a blog for years, but for some reason just haven't started the writing process. i am a mom of two boys, Nolan, who is three and a half, and Griffin, who is one. this brings me back to the release. as a mom, i feel very fulfillled. never before having Nolan did i truly feel such a sense of purpose, of doing and being exactly what God created me to do. it's amazing. amazing, but also totally overwhelming and draining and selfless, and i totally believe that as moms, we need major outlets of release. that's why lately, i have determined  to make myself channel out through the other things i love to do - me, heather, as a person beyond motherhood. i think it's so hard to find balance between being selfless and giving and focused on your children, while also nurturing yourself. motherhood transformed me into a stronger, more confident, truer sense of myself, but it is a daily struggle not to give up me. so, i have started reading a lot again. i think books have always been almost as important to me as food, and if you're not a book person, that sounds entirely dorky, but hey, that's me. ever since college, it has been so nice to just select a book at random, not having an obligatory list of assignments to complete, or some weighty work hanging over your head while you attempt some pleasure reading. right now i am finishing up Unaccustomed Earth, by Jhumpa Lahiri. my husband first introduced her to me when we first got married, and i think she's an amazing writer. i definitely recommend her other books, The Interpreter of Maladies and The Namesake. i also just got back into running, which i have really missed. it's funny how after a period of absence from something, you lose your confidence, like i have with writing as well. then you start back, and it feels so freeing and effortless. i came home from running yesterday beaming, and bouncing with energy, and thinking, i really need to take that time for myself more often. it's too easy not to. i hope in starting this blog that i will be able to use my writing muscle, like my quads that have been under-used lately. i also hope that i can connect with others who are perhaps feeling like me at times.

 

2 comments:

Jennifer said...

Quads...what are quads? ;) Yes, as moms we definitely seem to need to be forced to take a little "me" time. It can be hard to ask for time off when our job requires us to be available 24 hours a day!

Bethany said...

I can so relate. I joined the gym December 1st and I have been a saner, more energetic, nicer mom because of it. I consider my dues and childcare cost my salary as a mom. Ryan is all for it as well. Heather, I just get a kick out of how much we have in common. Good thing we don't live close to one another or we would probably hang out too much and not get enough work done. But, Ben and Ryan would probably love getting to hang out again. I can't wait to read more and get to know you even better.