release

 i've been pondering release lately - the lack of it, the need for it, and the buildup of stress and tension and emotions that necessitate it. this is my premier post. i've been wanting to start a blog for years, but for some reason just haven't started the writing process. i am a mom of two boys, Nolan, who is three and a half, and Griffin, who is one. this brings me back to the release. as a mom, i feel very fulfillled. never before having Nolan did i truly feel such a sense of purpose, of doing and being exactly what God created me to do. it's amazing. amazing, but also totally overwhelming and draining and selfless, and i totally believe that as moms, we need major outlets of release. that's why lately, i have determined  to make myself channel out through the other things i love to do - me, heather, as a person beyond motherhood. i think it's so hard to find balance between being selfless and giving and focused on your children, while also nurturing yourself. motherhood transformed me into a stronger, more confident, truer sense of myself, but it is a daily struggle not to give up me. so, i have started reading a lot again. i think books have always been almost as important to me as food, and if you're not a book person, that sounds entirely dorky, but hey, that's me. ever since college, it has been so nice to just select a book at random, not having an obligatory list of assignments to complete, or some weighty work hanging over your head while you attempt some pleasure reading. right now i am finishing up Unaccustomed Earth, by Jhumpa Lahiri. my husband first introduced her to me when we first got married, and i think she's an amazing writer. i definitely recommend her other books, The Interpreter of Maladies and The Namesake. i also just got back into running, which i have really missed. it's funny how after a period of absence from something, you lose your confidence, like i have with writing as well. then you start back, and it feels so freeing and effortless. i came home from running yesterday beaming, and bouncing with energy, and thinking, i really need to take that time for myself more often. it's too easy not to. i hope in starting this blog that i will be able to use my writing muscle, like my quads that have been under-used lately. i also hope that i can connect with others who are perhaps feeling like me at times.